according to Ruby
There is a love that makes a way and never holds you back
I’ve been single for around 3 years. Late 2013, for the first time, I prayed to meet a guy na magugustuhan ko for a relationship. Tama na ang pahinga sa lovelife teh :p
January 2014, nakilala ko si Jero. He was introduced by my friend Zha during her daughter's christening. First impression ko? Tahimik. The night after, nag-message sya sa Facebook. Chat chat. Getting to know, etc. etc.
Until napag-usapan namin yung age. I was 29 by then and sya.. 26. Yes, he's 3 years younger. Yung interest and excitement level ko biglang bumaba. Sorry, I have nothing against younger men. It's just that.. baka COC pa iniisip nito, hindi pag-aasawa. Baka hindi mag-match maturity namin. At syempre, his ego. If he’ll pursue, I’ll let him. But I set myself not to have expectations. And no first moves from me.
At some point I was right. He stopped messaging me. Kaya move on..
During the time na hindi kami nag-uusap, napanaginipan ko sya. Same thing happened. Nakilala ko sya then bigla syang nawala. Pero in my dream, I was crying nung umalis sya. I don’t interpret dreams. Pero that time, nag-pray ako na if that was a sign to really give him a chance, I’ll take it.
Few weeks after, nag-message ulit sya. That time, mas naging responsive ako. He later sent me flowers and started courting me. All the time na nanliligaw sya, I was just observing him. Bothered pa rin ako sa age gap, honestly. But it's true na may advantage kapag hindi ka initially attracted sa nanliligaw sayo. Mas visible yung personality and values nya. Kapag crush mo kasi yung guy parang lahat na ng gawin nya tama eh. And I can say na na-earn talaga ni Jero yung feelings ko..
Nakita ko yung pagiging understanding nya. Yung respect. Yung pagiging gentleman. Yung consistency. Like umaga, tanghali, gabi, araw-araw walang palya yan mag-message. Dun ako nag-start magkaroon ng interest na mas makilala sya. May work naman sya, hindi drug addict at totoong single. So, basically he's good :p
Pero I have considerations before I’ll say yes. And I constantly prayed to keep them and be guided. Dapat may initiative to present himself sa parents ko na nanliligaw sya. Hindi yung sasabihin mo pa. Dapat family person. Dapat ma-feel ko yung love nya kahit less or no effort sakin. Yung alam mo ring he'll be the same kahit inconvenient yung situation. Dapat mature enough for me. Dapat same faith kami.
Lahat yun isa-isa kong nakita kay Jero. I won't state all the arguments to prove kasi baka maging nobela na to. Lol. Yung last item nalang since yun yung result na kahit kami na, in-observe ko pa rin..
I'm already attending Victory church for one year that time.The first place na pinuntahan namin nung una kaming lumabas na kaming dalawa lang is Victory church. Gusto ko makita yung reaction nya eh. Well, hindi naman anti-Christ si Jero. Mas nagbabasa pa nga ng bible sakin yan. Ang point ko lang, sana pareho kami ng church. And naging positive naman yung reaction nya. Hanggang naging part na ng date namin mag-service every weekend and minsan sya na nagsasabi na mag-Victory kami. Pero hindi pa ko convinced. Nanliligaw eh. Best foot forward, sasama talaga yan. Besides, ayoko makita na nagvi-Victory lang sya dahil sakin.
Til one time nag-message sya. Mag-Victory service daw sya. First time nyang mag-isa. Kinilig ako nun! I was just continuously praying for him. Fast forward.. Until he decided to have One2One then he joined Victory group then he had baptism. Ako, sobrang amazed!
Pero syempre hindi lang puro +pogi points si Jero. Like one time he asked kung may pag-asa ba sya. He's open and honest. Minsan daw hindi sya sure kung dapat mag-push pa sya. And I gave him a simple answer. Sabi ko, wag sya manligaw dahil sa tingin nya may pag-asa sya. If he likes me, manligaw sya. If not or naiinip na sya, he can stop naman. Na-offend ako dun.
Pero may chance naman talaga sya. Meron lang ako naging last deciding factor.. Obviously, nasa marrying age na ko. I honestly told him my stand. Na gusto ko yung magiging relationship ko, last na. I am dating for the purpose of marriage. Kapag yung guy, hindi nya iniisip yung marriage in the near future, it's a waste of time for me.
Hindi naman sya tumigil after that. So I know na nasa same direction naman kami. After nun, alam kong yes na yung sagot ko.
Then came my birthday. The most unexpected time na tatanungin nya ko ng status namin. After the dinner, tinanong nya kung right time na ba. Sabi ko, right time ng ano? Then he asked.. “Will you be my girlfriend?” Tadaaan! May yes na ko diba? Hindi ako nakasagot agad. Bigla akong nag-isip..
I came from a failed relationship, the reason kung bakit naging cautious ako. Guarded. Controlled ang feelings. Nag-flashback bigla yung pain. Yung fear na ma-feel ko ulit yun. Nag-isip ako ng major reason to say no to Jero. Siguro dahil gusto ko i-convince yung sarili ko na yes talaga sagot ko. Kaso wala akong naisip. Naalala ko lahat ng efforts nya. You’ll know if it’s real. It will hit you, yung tagos-puso. Naisip ko baka batukan na ko ni Lord kasi hihingi-hingi ako ng signs pero babaliwalain ko lang pala in the end. Naalala ko yung mga times na tinetest ko si Jero. Yung purposely, hindi ako nagre-reply sa messages nya. Yung kahit free naman talaga ko sa invites nya, I say no pa rin. Na-appreciate ko din nung pinakilala nya ko sa family nya kahit hindi pa kami. Ang dami kong naisip. Sa dami kong naisip, bumubulong na sya. Haha. Sabi nya, hindi daw ako dapat sumagot agad. Kung hindi pa ko ready, sabihin ko lang daw. Kaso naisip ko baka hindi na sya magtanong ulit. Joke. Lastly, I remembered how he makes me happier. So finally, I said yes 🙂
Fast forward.. More than a year after, he proposed to me. And one month from now, we’re getting married 🙂
I am blessed to have met a great man. And it’s funny how I got bothered with our age gap. Naalala ko, hindi ko naman pinag-pray na sana older sakin. I just prayed for someone mature enough for me. Yung kaya ako i-handle. I learned to pray boldly and specific. Believe me, kahit physical attraction pinag-pray ko. Sabi ko kay Lord, sinungaling ako kapag sinabi kong okay lang kahit hindi attractive sakin. Magdadasal nalang ako, hindi ko pa sagarin diba. Sweet Lord! End of story.
Thank you reader!
according to Jero
There's More To Love Than Fun
“I want a love with a purpose – a love that matters, a love that means something, a love that's moving in a direction – not just a love that's enjoyable but temporary”
In the beginning, I was thinking kung kailan kaya ibibigay ni Lord yung perfect time and person sa buhay ko. As I promised before na sa susunod na relationship ko, it will be my last. So I kept on praying every single day and focus to check my heart and prepare for her heart too para kapag na-meet ko na ang taong yun maramdaman nya that she deserves to be loved. So I put my trust to God sa bagay na iyon kung kailan man nya ibigay para sa akin.
In an unexpected occasion, isa ako sa naimbitahan on a house blessing ng officemate ko na si Gibs Bustamante and his wife Zharina Bustamante, not knowing that day I will meet someone na siyang bibihag sa puso ko - on the other side, unconsciously one of my prayers is finally answered.
For the first time na makita ko si Ruby my impression is muka siyang masungit at suplada. Though hindi ko pa siya nakikilala noon, but my soul spoke to my heart "Siya yung magiging wife mo" - hindi ako fan ng fairytale at hindi rin naman ako addict or corny man ito pakinggan but I asked the Lord "Ako lang ba nag-iisip nito or this girl is yung promise mo po sa akin?" Then ipinakilala ni Zha yung invited friends nya including Ruby at confirmation na single pala sya that time. I can't explain but there is something with her na hindi ko talaga maintindihan kaya naiwan ang tingin ko sa kanya hanggang makalabas sila pauwi pero naiwan din sa akin yung tanong na bakit ganoon na lang yung naramdaman ko?
Few months of trying to ignore the questions in my mind, dumating ako sa part na I visited the Facebook profile of Ruby just to know her basic information. A few more weeks after, Gibs asked me na maging Ninong sa anak nya na si Erin and I accepted the invitation. Moving on, some of my officemates don't really know that I am single. Nang nalaman ni Gibs sakto na may ipapakilala daw sila sa akin na kaibigan ng wife nya. Natawa lang ako tapos binanggit ko kung yan ba yung initial ng name is R? Well mukang stalker lang ang dating ko - sabay paano ko daw nalaman. And sabi ko "hinulaan ko lang" para hindi obvious.
Erin's christening day and 2nd time to meet Ruby. I feel glad to see her again kahit hindi pa rin kami talaga ganon magkakilala. And when there was a chance sa reception area, doon ko nakaharap si Ruby nang pinalapit siya to give the souvenirs. And was able to have a picture with her and Zha. After getting some details from Zha, I was able to exchange messages with Ruby thru Facebook chat.
While we are at the middle of getting-to-know stage, dumating ako sa point na huminto ako sa pag-message for a couple of weeks kasi gusto ko ipag-pray yung ginagawa ko, na mag-consult kay God if this is the right plan for me to go through. Isang bagay na inisip ko dati is ahead pala sya sa akin sa age. Naisip ko baka mataas na expectation nya at kung kaya ko ba i-handle yung ganitong relationship. As I know nasa marrying age na rin sya, deserve nya kaya ako? I am praying na makita ko wisdom ni God sa struggles ko. Hindi ko rin maalis na baka isipin ni Ruby na nag-give up na ako dahil sa mga reasons ko but the truth is I need God's presence. Hoping that if I will enter to a next relationship He will always be there sa mga decisions ko. I want God to to be the center of this relationship to protect and guide us so it will not fail. Then that's the time I continued to pursue what I feel for Ruby when I've received the grace from God.
I started again to message Ruby but the feeling is awkward nung una kasi she has no clue bakit bigla ako ulit sumulpot. Every day I drop a message for her even if minsan lang sya mag-reply and naiintindihan ko naman kung bakit ganon. Pero hindi ako nawalan ng pag-asa kasi alam ko na bigay ito ni Lord sa akin at dininig din siguro ako kasi nakakapag-reply na rin si Ruby afterwards. Niligawan ko sya, I did my best para makuha ang matamis nya na "Yes" (Of course dapat lalaki talaga ang mag-first move and consistency is important. Showing the real you and heart para sa ginagawa mo para maramdaman nya that the intention is true). Pero before nun, naalala ko may fail akong naitanong sa kanya "Kung may pag-asa ba ako?" Just to test again my faith in God. I asked for a sign if things are still in the right track kasi ayoko pangunahan ang bagay-bagay, meaning at some point pinanghinaan ako ng loob kaya ko sya naitanong. Naramdaman ko na na-offend ko si Ruby but then keep moving on para makabawi sa kanya and thank God for still showing me the way.
Sa 4 months na panliligaw ko by showing all the efforts, feelings at mga signs na hiningi ko na nagkaroon ng kasagutan, the time came to me na tanungin si Ruby. Not because naiinip ako but I wanna take the relationship jump to the next level if she will allow me? I was ready that time to accept whether it's a yes or no to be her boyfriend.
Her birthday came! Hindi ko exactly inisip na itapat sa birthday ni Ruby but I prayed for the perfect day and I believed July 21, 2014 is the perfect day for us. I don't know kung nakakutob sya, pero good timing kasi kami lang yung customers ng restaurant. Moment of silence, perfect breathing at kinakabahang pakiramdam. I asked her if she thinks this is the right time for us? - bigla akong bumwelo kasi para syang 10-second delay sumagot. When I asked her "Will you be my girlfriend?" - ang sagot kaasar eh, “Wala ka bang intro muna?” hehe. But then that was the time I got her sweetest "Yes" with "I love you!" End of story. Kiddin'!
Some of the things I wanna share about Ruby: Prior na maging kami, I felt great nung time na in-allow nya ako na ma-meet ang parents nya. Hindi ako kinabahan ng sobra kasi alam ko naman na ang intention ko para sa anak nila is totoo at sanay na ako masermonan. What is good sa pakiramdam ko is ipinakilala nya ako na hindi ako ikinahiya. Honestly, ito yung big factor para sa akin in any cases kaya big check! Blessed na maramdaman ko na napakabuti ng parents ni Ruby and very open. Wala akong nasabi kundi napangiti na lang. Salamat Lord!
I like her for being responsible and controlled na kahit nanliligaw pa lang ako she never gave me a chance na ipakita na she's totally interested in me (good sample of a girl, guarded ang heart at hindi padalos-dalos, marunong mag-balance, marunong maghintay). Though challenging, this is exactly one of the qualities na nagustuhan ko kay Ruby and hope girls out there will see their importance rather than go with the flow. Given her simplicity, looks, heart, pagiging maalaga, I hope Ruby will continuously take her good attitude and always be thankful to God in every little thing na na-bless sya. Here is the best and I'm impressed with, when you know that this girl has a great faith in God. Lalo pa nung nag-surrender sya and accepted Christ in her life thru baptism. Signs were showing spontaneously.
I have a little faith but God gave us grace and mercy. Honestly deep in my heart, I will speak that I am blessed. Thank God for giving me a partner who is so loving and family oriented. Hindi na rin ako nag-waste ng time kasi I know that she's the right one for me and for her to see the future in me. I have decided to surprise Ruby last October 10, 2015. I have marked it as one of the special days na nagyari sa buhay ko. I proposed to her to be my wife, without any gadget or palamuti or eksena maliban lang sa nung inaya ko sya na i-meet ka-Victory group ko kunwari para hindi maghinala. I wanted that perfect day to be solemn for the two of us at makita yung real emotions. God is so good!
Now we are in the progress of preparing for our wedding. Thank you for having a chance to read our love story. I hope in a little way we inspire you. Please continue to pray for us. God Bless you!
1163 Santol St, Quezon City Metro Manila, Philippines Ceremony 3:30 PM at the Cherish Area Reception 5:00 PM at the Atrium Attire Semi-formal (preferably shade of peach, gray or skin tone) Gentlemen: Long-sleeved polo with tie and slacks. Tie is optional. Ladies: Long or cocktail dress
1163 Santol St, Quezon City
Metro Manila, Philippines
3:30 PM at the Cherish Area
5:00 PM at the Atrium
Semi-formal (preferably shade of peach, gray or skin tone)
Gentlemen: Long-sleeved polo with tie and slacks. Tie is optional.
Ladies: Long or cocktail dress
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