There is a love that makes a way and never holds you back
I’ve been single for around 3 years. Late 2013, for the first time, I prayed to meet a guy na magugustuhan ko for a relationship. Tama na ang pahinga sa lovelife teh :p
January 2014, nakilala ko si Jero. He was introduced by my friend Zha during her daughter's christening. First impression ko? Tahimik. The night after, nag-message sya sa Facebook. Chat chat. Getting to know, etc. etc.
Until napag-usapan namin yung age. I was 29 by then and sya.. 26. Yes, he's 3 years younger. Yung interest and excitement level ko biglang bumaba. Sorry, I have nothing against younger men. It's just that.. baka COC pa iniisip nito, hindi pag-aasawa. Baka hindi mag-match maturity namin. At syempre, his ego. If he’ll pursue, I’ll let him. But I set myself not to have expectations. And no first moves from me.
At some point I was right. He stopped messaging me. Kaya move on..
During the time na hindi kami nag-uusap, napanaginipan ko sya. Same thing happened. Nakilala ko sya then bigla syang nawala. Pero in my dream, I was crying nung umalis sya. I don’t interpret dreams. Pero that time, nag-pray ako na if that was a sign to really give him a chance, I’ll take it.
Show More...
Few weeks after, nag-message ulit sya. That time, mas naging responsive ako. He later sent me flowers and started courting me. All the time na nanliligaw sya, I was just observing him. Bothered pa rin ako sa age gap, honestly. But it's true na may advantage kapag hindi ka initially attracted sa nanliligaw sayo. Mas visible yung personality and values nya. Kapag crush mo kasi yung guy parang lahat na ng gawin nya tama eh. And I can say na na-earn talaga ni Jero yung feelings ko..
Nakita ko yung pagiging understanding nya. Yung respect. Yung pagiging gentleman. Yung consistency. Like umaga, tanghali, gabi, araw-araw walang palya yan mag-message. Dun ako nag-start magkaroon ng interest na mas makilala sya. May work naman sya, hindi drug addict at totoong single. So, basically he's good :p
Pero I have considerations before I’ll say yes. And I constantly prayed to keep them and be guided. Dapat may initiative to present himself sa parents ko na nanliligaw sya. Hindi yung sasabihin mo pa. Dapat family person. Dapat ma-feel ko yung love nya kahit less or no effort sakin. Yung alam mo ring he'll be the same kahit inconvenient yung situation. Dapat mature enough for me. Dapat same faith kami.
Lahat yun isa-isa kong nakita kay Jero. I won't state all the arguments to prove kasi baka maging nobela na to. Lol. Yung last item nalang since yun yung result na kahit kami na, in-observe ko pa rin..
I'm already attending Victory church for one year that time.The first place na pinuntahan namin nung una kaming lumabas na kaming dalawa lang is Victory church. Gusto ko makita yung reaction nya eh. Well, hindi naman anti-Christ si Jero. Mas nagbabasa pa nga ng bible sakin yan. Ang point ko lang, sana pareho kami ng church. And naging positive naman yung reaction nya. Hanggang naging part na ng date namin mag-service every weekend and minsan sya na nagsasabi na mag-Victory kami. Pero hindi pa ko convinced. Nanliligaw eh. Best foot forward, sasama talaga yan. Besides, ayoko makita na nagvi-Victory lang sya dahil sakin.
Til one time nag-message sya. Mag-Victory service daw sya. First time nyang mag-isa. Kinilig ako nun! I was just continuously praying for him. Fast forward.. Until he decided to have One2One then he joined Victory group then he had baptism. Ako, sobrang amazed!
Pero syempre hindi lang puro +pogi points si Jero. Like one time he asked kung may pag-asa ba sya. He's open and honest. Minsan daw hindi sya sure kung dapat mag-push pa sya. And I gave him a simple answer. Sabi ko, wag sya manligaw dahil sa tingin nya may pag-asa sya. If he likes me, manligaw sya. If not or naiinip na sya, he can stop naman. Na-offend ako dun.
Pero may chance naman talaga sya. Meron lang ako naging last deciding factor.. Obviously, nasa marrying age na ko. I honestly told him my stand. Na gusto ko yung magiging relationship ko, last na. I am dating for the purpose of marriage. Kapag yung guy, hindi nya iniisip yung marriage in the near future, it's a waste of time for me.
Hindi naman sya tumigil after that. So I know na nasa same direction naman kami. After nun, alam kong yes na yung sagot ko.
Then came my birthday. The most unexpected time na tatanungin nya ko ng status namin. After the dinner, tinanong nya kung right time na ba. Sabi ko, right time ng ano? Then he asked.. “Will you be my girlfriend?” Tadaaan! May yes na ko diba? Hindi ako nakasagot agad. Bigla akong nag-isip..
I came from a failed relationship, the reason kung bakit naging cautious ako. Guarded. Controlled ang feelings. Nag-flashback bigla yung pain. Yung fear na ma-feel ko ulit yun. Nag-isip ako ng major reason to say no to Jero. Siguro dahil gusto ko i-convince yung sarili ko na yes talaga sagot ko. Kaso wala akong naisip. Naalala ko lahat ng efforts nya. You’ll know if it’s real. It will hit you, yung tagos-puso. Naisip ko baka batukan na ko ni Lord kasi hihingi-hingi ako ng signs pero babaliwalain ko lang pala in the end. Naalala ko yung mga times na tinetest ko si Jero. Yung purposely, hindi ako nagre-reply sa messages nya. Yung kahit free naman talaga ko sa invites nya, I say no pa rin. Na-appreciate ko din nung pinakilala nya ko sa family nya kahit hindi pa kami. Ang dami kong naisip. Sa dami kong naisip, bumubulong na sya. Haha. Sabi nya, hindi daw ako dapat sumagot agad. Kung hindi pa ko ready, sabihin ko lang daw. Kaso naisip ko baka hindi na sya magtanong ulit. Joke. Lastly, I remembered how he makes me happier. So finally, I said yes 🙂
Fast forward.. More than a year after, he proposed to me. And one month from now, we’re getting married 🙂
I am blessed to have met a great man. And it’s funny how I got bothered with our age gap. Naalala ko, hindi ko naman pinag-pray na sana older sakin. I just prayed for someone mature enough for me. Yung kaya ako i-handle. I learned to pray boldly and specific. Believe me, kahit physical attraction pinag-pray ko. Sabi ko kay Lord, sinungaling ako kapag sinabi kong okay lang kahit hindi attractive sakin. Magdadasal nalang ako, hindi ko pa sagarin diba. Sweet Lord! End of story.
Thank you reader!